The meta-experiment of Pole Yourself Together!
People underestimate how much of being a live artist is admin. I only became a pole comic to follow my true passion, which is: emailing people about the ceiling.
My show Pole Yourself Together! is a banishing spell for dread, and an underlying part of that dread is sexual harassment. I’ve been frustrated that I haven’t found a funny way to talk about sexual harassment in the show, because that is so linked to how I started pole dancing. In my mid-twenties while I was struggling to get a day job in media, I worked in a bar where sexual harassment was just taken as part of the job. One night it got so bad that something inside me snapped, and I thought “Fuck it. If this is going to happen anyway, I’m going to make some money out of it” – I got a job in a strip club, and nearly a decade later pole dancing is now fully part of my career.
I love that pole dancing gives people – especially, but not exclusively, women – a space to express sexuality and pleasure without harm or consequences. So many of us will arrive at a pole studio with traumatic experiences of misogyny and assault from just existing in the world: pole dancing helps to restore your agency over this very emotional part of your life and identity, gently guiding and encouraging you to embrace it with power and joy, not fear and shame.
I’m really inspired by artists like Kitty Velour who’ve spoken openly about horrific experiences of sexual trauma, and transformed that pain into a pole dancing business and career that empowers people across the world to fully express and enjoy their own sexuality. There’s a defiance and ballsy, fierce social challenge in the world of pole dancing that’s very powerful and incredibly fun.
I had a routine in the show where I tried doing a surreal pole thing about sexual harassment, but I just hated performing it. Mainly because I thought it was a bit shit, but also because I felt gross, sticky and nauseous, and felt like I sensed every butthole in the room clench up when I got into that material. I have a very firm line with writing of Discomfort Vs. Pain: discomfort is healthy and can indicate where to find the most interesting material; pain is the signal to stop. It’s a similar distinction to when you’re learning pole tricks or stretching: discomfort means you’re putting the work in and expanding your comfort zone, pain means stop.
The engagement with sexual harassment in this show has actually been more to do with the admin side. There’s production admin and coordination I do with venues before every show that requires laying down a safeguarding procedure. When I produce events that include pole dancers, I’m insistent that every performer knows exactly who to talk to if anyone is making them uncomfortable, and the venue have a process in place to support them. I’m not just being paranoid, and I don’t really have a choice: where this process hasn’t existed for me and I’ve been impacted, I get a flare-up of PTSD that can mean anything from a few hours bad mood to being unable to work for a few days. It’s a necessary admin task to take care of myself and other performers, so we know that’s taken care of and we can be creative in peace.
I guess what I’ve learned here is that if the show is a banishing spell for dread, part of that banishing spell has been more to do with the environment than the content itself. Venues have been brilliant. Of course I’d rather spend those hours of work on developing my material, and I resent the mental load which zaps my mood and concentration, taking literally hours away from the fun creative stuff. But I’ve decided to view it as a positive contribution. With every person who insists on these structures being established, the working environment steadily shifts to be safer for everyone. And it gets easier and more automated every time.
I still feel like there’s a kind of content gap that I just don’t really talk about sexual harassment in the show itself. But maybe the fact that it’s not in the show means that the project has been a success. A show isn’t just what you see during the hour, it’s the 360 degree process around it, and part of that has been demanding adjustments in the environment. When the environment takes the sexy dread away, you have more space to enjoy and think about the other stuff.
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