I’ve been teaching a pole move called Suicide Spin (watch it here!) which is exactly as chill as it sounds. It’s a move that takes about 50% technique, and 50% willingness to release the fear of death. You hook the inside of your knee really tightly to the pole, clamp that leg into place with extra arm pressure, let yourself fall forward and, essentially, hope for the best.
I love it for three main reasons:
- It’s a guaranteed crowd-pleaser.
- It teaches your body to trust the pole to carry your whole weight and spin.
- It’s one of the first moves you can learn that really feels like flying.
Until you’ve practiced it enough that your skin toughens up, it makes your delicate back knee skin burn like hell and your body seize up with terror from falling into the void. I always give students an opt-out if they really, really hate it because I think an important takeaway from pole classes is the practice of self-sovereignty. You ultimately call the shots on what’s right or wrong for your body, and honour your own internal sense of what feels good or bad.
But I also like to introduce it because pushing through the initial anxiety and discomfort from it leads to serious gains. It’s been a big part for me of using pole dancing to toughen up mentally as well as physically, and reaffirm the dialogue with my body that:
Pain = a signal to change or stop.
Discomfort = where the real growth happens.
So, while I’ve been thinking about it, here are my top 7 resilience lessons for life in general from the art of hanging off a stick.
- You can do hard things
Pole dancers are basically pretty hardcore. Doing this mad thing, learning sick tricks and getting shredded while having a good time gives you irrefutable evidence that, you too, are fucking metal.
2. Accept and embrace change.
Bodies change, priorities shift, time and energy evolve with your life. Instead of exhausting yourself from trying to compete with an older version of yourself or hold on to stuff that’s stopped working, pole dancing always presents alternative options to help meet yourself where you are, not where you think you should be.
3. Ask for help.
My favourite thing in group classes is when a student finally nails something they’ve been struggling with, and the rest of the room bursts into spontaneous applause. Everyone needs the squad! Whether it’s support from a coach or a room of besties, the social experience of pole and learning that you can get support when you need it is a big part of the joy
4. Share your progress!
“Practice in public” is a big ask – especially if what you’re practicing is dancing around a stick in your pants – but holding everything to your chest prevents you from getting acknowledgement from how much you’re achieving along the way.
5. Pay attention to how you’re talking to yourself.
My most annoying* instructor habit is marching over when a student says “I’m failing” and declaring: “NO – YOU’RE LEARNING.”
(*this is a lie, there are probably hundreds more annoying things I do. But – as part of my practice of gentle self-talk – I’m choosing to ignore them.)
6. Pay attention to what feels fun.
Adults don’t get much joy in our lives, it’s an uphill slog to sandwich SOMETHING FUN between work, family and breaking news alerts about the world burning. Joy is a completely unique and different experience for everyone – you can’t force it but, when you notice it, make sure you do more of it.
7. Don’t wait for permission, perfection or certainty to start.
Especially if you’ve been socially conditioned as a woman, there’s a lot of pressure to be fully prepared and have a watertight plan in place if you’re taking a risk or starting something new. In reality, most things have to adapt and change along the way: pole teaches you that you can trust yourself through the uncertainty and that you’re capable of more than you think.
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